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Photos: Kate Middleton through the years

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A word for new moms

Let’s jump right in.

Today’s gripe: Moms who put bows on their babies’ heads.

I seriously don’t get this. Every single girl child that pops up on my social media feed has a bow on her head. What’s going on here? Trying to make your baby look like… Dumbo? Minnie Mouse? A rabbit?

I have a niece claiming that just as with big hair, the bigger the bow, the closer to Jesus.

Yeah, we say that in that South, but it’s only because bad style needs an excuse, if you ask me.

A random baby that may or may not be family.  

Not only is this a silly trend, some of y’all have pretty rotten tastes in bows.*

Somebody needed to say that.

What you see in those pictures is your little angel looking so precious. What I see is trouble looming. So let me just go ahead and prepare you for the conversation your surly teenage daughter is going to have with you in about 17 years:

“Can I ask why you ruined all my baby pictures by wrapping my head up like you were going to give it away for Christmas?”“Can I get a tattoo? What do mean, you think it will make me look silly? Didn’t seem to bother you when I was a baby.”

“What’s with that bow? Had Wal-Mart run out of pretty ones or was Dollar General having a sale?”

I have another question. All of the babies I see have known fathers. Where are the fathers? Why are the dads not stepping up and saying something?

Be a man! Assert yourself! Or at least claim half ownership of rights to decorating the baby’s head and take the bow off.

I’ve never had children but I can assure you if my wife wanted to put a bow on Dumpling’s head, we’d be striking a deal. "Sure, you can put a bow on her head if I never have to do poopy-diaper duty again for the rest of eternity."

Something like that. I’m a b-a-a-a-d man!

Oh, I can feel your eyes rolling, moms. I know what you’re thinking.

‘Grumpy old man.’

But I know what you’re really doing. You’re trying to mask your baby’s fat head. 

Look, that’s just the facts of life. Most babies’ heads are too big for their bodies when they are born. What happened to just saying a ‘bless her heart’ and knowing she would grow into it eventually?

Has anyone considered that a fat-headed baby with a bow only makes fat-headed baby’s head look bigger?

Moms, trust me on this. Do your baby a favor. Buck the trend.

#saynotothebow (You can steal that; I stole your baby’s picture.)

No need to thank me. Just doing what I can to make you a better parent. Heaven knows, y’all need help.

*No specific accusations are intended for the babies pictured in this story. Although if the shoe fits…

How you can help

YouTube Launches Cable-Free Live Streaming TV Service

YouTube Launches Cable-Free Live Streaming TV Service

Jobless and nearly homeless, Rachel Dolezal still isn't sorry for posing as black

It’s been two years since it was revealed that former NAACP branch leader Rachel Dolezal is actually white. Not only is she on the brink of homelessness, having been unable to find a job, but she’s still maintaining that she did nothing wrong by posing as an African-American woman.

“I’m not going to stoop and apologize and grovel and feel bad about it,” she told the Guardian. “I would just be going back to when I was little and had to be what everybody else told me I should be — to make them happy.”

>> Rachel Dolezal announces memoir 'In Full Color: Finding My Place in a Black and White World'

Dolezal stepped down from her position in 2015 when her parents revealed that she was not actually African-American. While she eventually admitted to being “biologically born white to white parents,” she argued that she identifies as African-American, saying that race is “not coded in your DNA.”

She claims to have applied for more than one hundred jobs, but that no one will hire her, aside from those within the reality television and pornography industries. Even her memoir, “In Full Color,” which is due to be released in March, was turned down by over 30 publishers before one picked up the book. She currently relies on food stamps and help from friends in order to get by. She told the Guardian that she will probably be homeless next month.

“Right now, the only place I feel understood and completely accepted is with my kids and my sister,” she said. “The narrative was that I’d offended both communities in an unforgivable way, so anybody who gave me a dime would be contributing to wrong and oppression and bad things – to a liar and fraud and a con.”

Dolezal says her memoir is her way of telling her side of the story and opening up a dialogue about race and identity.

>> Read more trending news

“The times I tried to explain more, I wasn’t understood more. Nobody wanted to hear, ‘I’m pan-African, pro-black, bisexual, an artist, mother and educator,’” she told the Guardian. “People would just be like, ‘Huh? What? What are you talking about?'”

But would she ever consider simply telling people that she’s white?

“No. This is still home to me,” Dolezal said. “I didn’t feel like I’m ever going to be hurt so much that I somehow leave who I am, because I’m me. It really is who I am. It’s not a choice.”

Read the full story at the Guardian.

Amazon Lowers Minimum Amount For Free Shipping

Amazon Lowers Minimum Amount For Free Shipping
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